Imagine for a moment, your communication skills allow you to understand… You understand the expectations that are placed on you. Those around you understand exactly what you’re telling them. Misunderstandings are resolved as they go along. You improve the delivery time of your files, you contribute to greater efficiency and are less stressed, more satisfied.
It is possible to improve your communication skills.
Here are 3 steps to improve your communication skills with tools and techniques.
#1 Get to know yourself better
First of all, in terms of communication, getting to know yourself better means becoming aware of your communication style, taking into account your context and noticing your beliefs and judgments. These three elements influence your communication behavior.
Has. Your communication style
At my conference, participants took a test that resulted in four communication styles. Here’s a quick summary of these four styles.
The more you know yourself, the more communication tools you have.
- Rather Analytical Communication “Let’s get back to the facts.”
These people seek to influence the thoughts and actions of others by taking the time and means to convince. In addition, they are focused on analysis, planning and control. Finally, they would benefit from having a better global vision and better adapting to other styles.
- Communication rather Directive “I understand, now in action!”
These people communicate directly and often show impatience in discussions that go on for a long time. Also, they are focused on the concrete facts and the decision. Finally, they would benefit from being more attentive and expressing their appreciation more often.
- Communication rather conciliatory “You, what do you think?”
These people seek to avoid conflict. They are also adept at reconciling different points of view and are sensitive to the opinions of various individuals. Finally, they would benefit from better structuring their interviews and letting others take their responsibilities.
- Communication rather Host “Is there a problem? You are the best, we’ll fix it! »
These people communicate easily with others. They seem passionate, enthusiastic and demonstrative. In addition, they pay little attention to practical details and are not inclined to want to solve problems at all costs. These people would benefit from being more attentive and clarifying their expectations.
If you too want to know how you stand in relation to attitudes and behaviors that promote better communication, TAKE THE TEST!
To have all the tools you need to be understood more easily and have difficult conversations, watch the Communicate Differently online training.
B. Your context
First, ask yourself what context you are in when you are communicating? Are you coming from a traffic jam? Or have you just received good news, bad news?
Context can increase or decrease your dominant communication style.
C. Your beliefs and judgments influence your communication skills
What do you think about when others talk to you?
Also, do you judge yourself? Maybe you don’t think you’re good enough, prepared, asking enough?
Do you judge the other? Isn’t he good enough, prepared, competent enough?
Or you have beliefs, that is: in my professional position I must know all the answers.
#2 Listening better helps improve your communication skills
Listening is the most important part of communication.
The proof I offer you is that humans have TWO ears and ONE mouth.
As a result, listening should be twice as present as speaking and yes, it is twice as difficult to listen as it is to speak.
How can we listen better? Here are two tips:
1. Lower the volume of your internal voice
First, lower the volume of your internal voice, the one that is filled with beliefs and judgments. If you try to make it disappear all at once or fight, it will take up even more space. To do this, simply imagine that you turn down the volume. (If you want to diminish the influence of this voice, read this.)
2. Trying to UNDERSTAND
Most people listen to answer.
Then observe yourself. We listen and immediately formulate our answer in our heads. Our approval, our experience, our disagreement. I don’t care.
What if we focused instead on what the other person has to say?
Finally, ask questions, rephrase. Take an interest in what the other person is saying. Don’t focus on yourself, but on the other person. This is how you will improve your listening skills and your communication skills.
#3 Expressing yourself better allows you to improve your communication skills
Once you know yourself better, once you listen better, it remains to express yourself better.
I present the principle of the funnel:
- What do I want the person to remember? (the target)
- What are the important things to mention to reach my target?
- How can I tailor my communication to the person so that they retain the target?
- Ask the person what he or she understood:What did you understand rather than Did you understand?
Conclusion and applications
So, to improve your communication skills, be more aware of yourself, listen and express yourself better.
Practice to:
• Before communicating, be aware of your style + context of the moment + beliefs/judgments and think about your communication behavior. Decide if it’s the right time FOR YOU to communicate.
• When you are spoken to, do not give your opinion unless you are explicitly asked. Turn down the volume of your judgment. Ask questions to your interlocutor in order to understand him/her,
• Prepare for your next job using the funnel principle. Don’t get straight to the point, and give your interviewer the elements of your reflection and the context. At the end, ask “What did you understand?”
I hope these tips will help you communicate better, and most importantly benefit you.
Also published on LinkedIn.