How do you hold a difficult conversation from a distance?

by | Nov 27, 2024

tenir une conversation difficile a distance

What is the best format for having a difficult conversation?

Some would say in person. I prefer it too, but there may be times when you have no other option but to have the difficult conversation from a distance.

Here are tips to help you succeed in difficult conversations at a distance

Let’s first look at the success factors of difficult conversations in general, and then those that are added in virtual mode.

The general success factors are

  1. Wait until emotions have passed
  2. Have facts
  3. Choosing the right time and place

At a distance, here are the success factors.

The first two success factors remain essential.

When at the right time and in the right place:

  • You have to choose a time slot where the person will be as willing as possible. In order to promote this moment, I invite you to ask him.
    • I have a very important thing to discuss, when would be the best time for you?

And if, during the discussion, you feel that it’s not a good time because the person seems stressed or receives several messages, don’t hesitate to stop the conversation and reschedule it.

  • The right place in virtual is a place where you can see yourself without distraction.

Difficult conversations at a distance should be done face-to-face, live. And not via email, or via asynchronous video!

Best practices for difficult conversations in virtual mode

  1. Make sure that both people have enough time to talk and that the conversation won’t end in a fishtail!
  2. If you feel uncomfortable having this type of conversation from a distance, name it.

“It’s really weird for me to have this type of conversation virtually instead of in person!”

Then name your intent.

“I want to discuss a sensitive topic and have quality time, even through this channel.”

  1. Keep eye contact

This is not the time to close your camera, and neither is the time for the other person. Don’t hesitate to mention that you need to see her.

  1. Avoid distractions

As in an in-person conversation, location is really important. Be in a place and in an emotional state that promotes this type of conversation.

In conclusion

Having a difficult conversation in virtual mode is not ideal. That said, it’s better to have it like this if you have no other option, than not to have it at all and generate a latent conflict!

Don’t skimp on preparation: content, time, your emotional state are all important.

Don’t hesitate to stop the conversation to reframe it on the intention and on the right dynamics if necessary.

A difficult conversation will never be “easy”, but here is the mistake to avoid at all costs as well as some tips to facilitate this type of conversation .

To go even further, the self-training “Communicating in Difficult Situations” offers tools for feedback, difficult conversations and conflict management.