In leadership, there are three pillars: competence, credibility and courage. Competence includes knowledge such as knowing how to communicate, knowing how to listen, knowing how to surround oneself, knowing how to mobilize, knowing how to engage. Courage is being able to say what “is”, to make decisions, to manage risk.
Credibility is what allows you to be trustworthy.
Are you confident when you go to the doctor or mechanic and he or she is in a bad mood or stressed? Do you trust the diagnosis or the suggestions? Or even, do you trust his work and his decisions?
The same goes for your clients, colleagues, and team members. If they feel that you are not at your best, they will trust your decisions and suggestions less.
And so, how can you better manage your stress?
First, better managing the symptoms of stress will help you. You’ll sleep better, you’ll feel better. Then, better managing the causes and consequences of stress will allow you to maintain a certain balance in general.
I now invite you to keep a stressful situation in mind for the rest of this reading.
Step #1: Recognize your stress
If we know (and recognize) stress, we can tame it. Here’s what would cause stress:
- The impression of not being in control of the situation. (C)
- The situation is unforeseen or unforeseeable. (I)
- The situation is new. (N)
- The situation can threaten your ego, your image, your reputation. (E)
The four factors are not necessarily involved every time, and there is at least one.
Can all stressful situations be avoided? No, you can’t eradicate stress, and you shouldn’t because stress is positive and allows you to react. Think of all the times your reflexes saved you from an accident, for example.
Rather, it’s about recognizing when stress becomes negative or paralyzing. It is in these two situations that you can gain in well-being and credibility.
So, in your stressful situation, which of the factors is at play?
Step #2: Deconstruct your stress
Use the situation you have chosen. Answer these four questions:
- Are you in control of the situation? (C)
- Is this an unforeseen or unforeseeable situation? (I)
- Is this a new situation? (N)
- Is your ego, personality, reputation threatened? (E)
If you answer these questions every time you’re stressed, you’ll probably notice that you’re more sensitive to one or the other factor, and the more aware you are of this, the easier it will be for you to manage.
Being able to take a step back is a remarkable quality in leadership!
Step #3: Rebuild the situation
Now that you’ve identified the source(s) of your stress, let’s see how you can rebuild the situation so that you can better manage your stress.
- What can you control over the situation? (C)
- What can you do to make this situation less unpredictable? (I)
- What can you do to make this situation less new? (N)
- What can you do to manage your ego, personality, reputation? (E)
If the ideas you have written here for your situation don’t work, try others!! Experiment.
Developing the muscle of success and failure is a definite asset in leadership!
Conclusion
Identifying your stress, deconstructing it, rebuilding it and then applying strategies to manage it is a very effective method to help you better manage your stress.
The better you know yourself, the better you react!
What are you going to do now with the situation you have targeted?
*Source: Inspired by the CINE method taken from the book “For the love of stress” by Sonia Lupien
To have all the tools you need to manage your emotions and those of others, watch the online training course Managing Stress and Emotions.