How can we make communication as effective as possible? On a daily basis? With the multiple communication channels, the different stakeholders, cultures and expectations… whew.
Several ingredients seem to be “against” effective communication. What if the recipe was simpler than it seems?
Finding 1: Communication is often complex because people who talk to each other don’t always understand each other.
Example: My boss asks me an impromptu question, I answer as quickly as possible, but in fact I didn’t understand his question and I’m floundering… In the end, he seems frustrated and has to leave.
Finding 2: We think we’re ready enough to share information, and all of a sudden, we’re surprised by a question and we start getting bogged down trying to answer.
Example: In a technical meeting, you are asked a question by your manager and you try to answer while thinking out loud. The result: a worried boss!
Observation 3 : We really want to talk about a subject to a person who is in a completely different context. The conversation ends in a fishtail or in disappointment!
Example: I share good news and I am received by a person concerned about a file who responds to me politely, but quickly. I decide to end the conversation, because I feel that it is not the right time.
So, how do you do it, on a daily basis, to communicate effectively? Here are 3 tips.
Tip #1: Turn your tongue 7 times before speaking
And yes, that old adage still has its place! There are several reasons why we want to respond quickly: surprise, lack of time, desire to look good, and so on!
Whatever the reason, you can be quick AND thoughtful.
Here are key words and actions when a situation requires a quick response, but the response is important and you want to avoid getting complicated!
- Give yourself time:
- “Hmm. Let me think of the best answer 2 seconds. »
- “Answering this question takes more than 2 minutes, and I see that you have another meeting. When do you need the answer? »
- And if the person needs it right away, ask them what exactly they need right now. It can be a summary, an opinion, the next step, but not necessarily the whole detail!
- Request clarification:
- “I want to answer precisely. Can you repeat your question? »
- “To make sure I answer your point, can you tell me the need behind the question?”
Surprise requests often generate emotions during communications. This article on how to share your emotions is a good addition to your reading! Here is the link.
In summary on this point: taking the time is good!
Tip #2: Make sure you understand the goal
In my experience, 90% of people ask closed-ended or inductive questions. That is to say, they have already begun to think about it or already have an opinion. This means that when a person asks a question, or asks for information, a piece is missing.
What is missing is the “why”.
Example:
- Manager: “Can you remind me why we chose Option A instead of Option B”?
- Collaborator: ” <gives lots of details> “
- The manager is a little impatient : “No, but in summary.”
- Collaborator: “… »
Likely context in this example: the manager received a question from his boss, who was asked a question by a colleague during a budget meeting. The option A that the team has chosen is a little more expensive than the B. The two people who have the conversations are at the executive level, they don’t want the technical detail, they want 3-4 sentences that explain the budget choice.
So if you’re the manager, you could say:
- “During a budget meeting, the question arose about the choice of option A versus B. Can you remind me of the difference between these 2 options in terms of costs and profitability?”
If you are the collaborator, you could help your manager clarify their question, as follows:
- “To make sure I answer your question, what are you looking for details related to what aspect? Technique? »
In order to conclude this point, in order to be more effective in communication, make sure you have understood what the OTHER person really needs. What is its objective? What does she really want?
You will be more optimal!
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, this article offers 4 simple and detailed strategies (eliminate, simplify, automate, delegate). Read the article.
Or, at a higher level, if you feel a more general loss of control over your schedule, here are my TOP 10 to regain control.
Tip #3: Foster the right context
You need to have a difficult conversation with someone and you’re ultimately in the right frame of mind for it! You go to the other person who seems concerned about a file. Never mind: you go.
And finally, you don’t have the reception you want.
You know this intuitively, but you need the right context for everyone in the same conversation to be effective and positive.
I recognize that managers are short on time, but fostering the right context will not only increase the effectiveness of your communication, it will yield more positive results!
You will spend time afterwards to manage problems and adjust, if you don’t spend it before in order to prepare yourself or wait for the right time!
You never save time by going fast when it comes to interpersonal communication. (In fact, it will cost more energy!)
Another example: During a team meeting, you are about to announce good news, but half of your team is missing.
You have a decision to make: wait, or do it anyway. It depends on the impact you want to have.
In order to end on this point, it should be noted that the context of the other person is to be taken into consideration if you want to achieve your goal. So, always put the impact you want to have into perspective and make sure you have an optimal context, for you and your interlocutor.
In conclusion
The three tips in this post can not only help you be more effective in your communication, but also save time and energy!
Unique coaching offers two online training courses related to the topic of this article (which you can take on your own if you wish). These trainings are recognized by many participants and will give you tons of tools. Here they are: