You know the little voice that tells you that you could have done better? That you will not pass this test? That you could have forced yourself a little more? And, that you are not capable of this or that…
Personally, sometimes my mean and negative voice takes over my kind and positive voice. It’s like they’re fighting and looking for a winner. In order for the positive voice to win, I decide to feed it. So I give him strength. Pars concequent. I learn to tame the negative voice. For example, you can imagine two animals, two dogs, if you feed the positive dog, it will always be stronger than the negative dog and can win the battles they have together.
Now, let’s look at some tips for managing your little inner voice.
Tip #1: Feed your positive voice
First, give a symbol to your positive voice, another to your negative voice. (a positive dog, a negative dog, a cat, a dog, an angel, a demon, an Xbox, a PS4, a Volkswagen, a Honda… well, you get the idea.)
Then, know which one speaks to you.
Then, feed the positive voice with affirmations. An affirmation is a simple sentence, in the present tense.
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- I am able to…, free to…
- I’m happy to …
- My day is off to a good start
- I have the right to … I can…
- I have the will to …
- I’m having a good time.
- I manage to …
- Etc.
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Also, make it a habit, continue to feed it, it will grow stronger and stronger.
==> And if the negative voice was very very loud, here are some other tips!
First, write your affirmations on paper, as many times as your negative voice has not been silenced. Examples:
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- I will pass this exam. (Frankly, you haven’t studied enough!)
- I will pass this exam. (You won’t get a good grade.)
- I will pass this exam. (Forget it.)
- I will pass this exam. (…)
- I will pass this exam.
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You can also take an energizing walk: Go get some fresh air for 10 minutes or more. As you walk, make a list of what you did well during your day, or what you want to do well today.
Be kind to yourself! Don’t be your own enemy.
If your inner voice is generating stress in you, read the article “How to eradicate stressful thoughts?“. It will help you manage your stress.
Tip #2: Name what’s going on
Example #1: You have an important meeting with colleagues, just before the meeting you have an argument with a loved one or you hear bad news on a personal level.
Example #2: You have a meeting and you are annoyed by the agenda or one of your colleagues. This makes you impatient and you have a hard time controlling your non-verbal.
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- Option A : Mention to the group that you are not at your best right now and that you will do your best to be present.
- Option B : Focus on the feeling you have inside you (frustration, irritation, sadness, etc.). Name it in your head: I’m irritated.
- Option C : If you have a lot of thoughts and a few minutes to spare, write down your thoughts on a piece of paper. They will stay there while you are present elsewhere. You can also symbolically throw away this paper.
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Naming what is happening should make you accept what is happening inside you and thus give all the space to your presence.
In order to be aware of your listening barriers and to understand how to communicate differently to make yourself better understood and connected with others, I invite you to take the online training Communicating Differently.