Why develop resilience? As each day brings us its share of changes and unforeseen events, each leader benefits from developing his or her resilience in order to learn to live with frequent changes.
Prefer a video version? There she is:
Several years ago, the VICA concept (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous) for an environmental analysis, made us think about the actions to be taken or the decisions to be taken.
In recent years, a new concept has emerged: BANI. The world has evolved, and now has characteristics of fragility (B), anxiety (A), nonlinearity (N) and unpredictability (I).
While we are still invited to think about what can cause uncertainty and force us to intervene in a VICA world, it is necessary to add the dimensions of the BANI in order to be stronger and more grounded as humans.
In other words: in a world that is uncertain, volatile, complex, ambiguous, fragile, anxiety-provoking, unpredictable and non-linear… You have to be resilient!
What is resilience?
Resilience is the ability to bounce back.
An ability means that one is “able to”.
A person can be said to be resilient when, rather than denying events, sinking into sadness, or withdrawing into them, they are able to face them, come out of their experiences stronger, remain optimistic and confident in life.
Building resilience can definitely help navigate today’s world!
To build personal resilience, you have to decide to do something about a situation or make a decision and deal with it.
5 things to build personal resilience
#1- Keep the focus on what you control
To be able to bounce back, you need to have energy!
In order to cultivate a positive dynamic and detach yourself from the “heaviness”, sort out the things you have control over and those that are not your responsibility.
This will already allow valuable energy to be banked to intentionally invest in positive elements.
Here are the areas you can control:
- Your actions
- Your attitude
- Your Words
- your thoughts.
Note that all of the above revolves around you, not others… Don’t wait for others to change to feel good. Learn this for yourself. This first piece of advice is related to this realization that you have more control than you may think.
If you’re in a period where you have a lot of anxiety-provoking scenarios, you certainly have the power to find the right tools for you.
Educate yourself, take a moment to make a step-by-step plan, clear your mind in a journal, take care of your mind through mindfulness. Get out of your cocoon 💖
#2 – Switch to solution mode (be proactive and not passive)
If you take a step back, you will realize that solutions exist!
Here are some ways to take an effective step back:
- Write in a journal
- walk
- Exercise
- Chat with a loved one
- Enjoy a quiet moment
- Drawing, painting, dancing
Then, define a next step to move forward, no matter how small.
It is in action that solutions open up.
There’s nothing like trying it out to demystify. And if the first idea doesn’t work, don’t be discouraged! It’s part of the experience and it’s completely normal. This is how you develop a knowledge of what works well, and what doesn’t: by being in action and learning in the process.
The idea is to come out stronger, so you have to have an experience to learn!
#3 – Maintain positive social connections
In uncertain times and when we need to develop our resilience, I invite you to surround yourself with people who have a positive impact on you.
Here is a personal 😊 example
In 2013, I created Unique coaching. A few months later, I started full-time. A few months after having “tested”.
At that time, I had a young child, a nice management position in a nice company, etc. Security!
And then, an impulse told me to go for it. My entourage was destabilized. Why leave this security to go into the void? How are you going to do it? How will you generate income?
And the comments were worse when I went through a separation last year. I was even less safe “alone”.
After a questioning, I took stock of my social ties.
Not to break them, but to:
- to create new ones that are more aligned with my reality, my vision and my desires
- select subjects and people.
I didn’t talk about my safety concerns to the people who were most scared, or who dragged me into their worst-case scenarios.
I needed people who would help me move forward.
The lesson I learned from this is that I have the right to filter what I say, and to whom I talk about it.
I now have a circle with which I allow myself certain subjects, while I don’t discuss them with others. That’s not to say that these last relationships aren’t important to me; they bring me something else!
It’s all about balance.
Knowing how to communicate your emotions can help in this type of situation. This article explains how.
#4 – Develop a Growth mindset
I started to be interested in the mindset when I created my company. I wanted to succeed in my vision, to be solid, strategic and grounded!
My readings led me to what is called fixed mindset and growth mindset. (Which I translate as fixed or evolving state of mind.)
Essentially, an evolutionary mindset is:
- Viewing challenges as opportunities rather than threats
- Replacing criticism with a passion for learning
- Valuing the process over the end result
- Believing that abilities can be cultivated
People who adopt this mindset work on their beliefs, make mistakes, and learn from them.
In chess, they see what the experience has brought, they surround themselves positively and look for feedback and tools to develop.
Rather, a fixed mindset believes that intelligence and talents are innate traits that cannot be changed significantly.
This “fixed” point of view
- creates an urgency to prove itself again and again
- to try without changing anything, instead of developing and learning.
- to seek the approval and validation of others (for example: “No, but you see, it’s impossible to do that…” I can’t, no one can”).
In other words, the person validates himself in the status quo and in a way, takes no responsibility for his or her “evolution” (growth).
People who are more in the fixed mentality may feel jealousy towards the accomplishments of others, who, with their evolutionary mentality, demonstrate that they are capable of things that are unfairly considered out of reach.
It’s a whole subject and a real work on yourself. I invite you to read about it if you are interested. I have made a summary on this infographic.
In short, resilience is about bouncing back, and the right mindset will help with that!
#5 – Take care of yourself, mentally and physically
This last element seems obvious… You can hear it everywhere! And rightly so because it works!
We sometimes forget to go back to the “basics”, but it is difficult to be resilient and to take a step back from events when we are tired, dehydrated, or not eating as needed.
Get enough sleep, drink the water your body craves, eat well, move, and take breaks. You will see that solutions come more easily when the body is satisfied.
In conclusion
This article has presented 5 elements to develop your personal resilience. How about choosing one first?
I invite you to write down a situation for which you would like more ability to bounce back, or perhaps even more courage. Go ahead! What would help you the most?
It’s time to get started!
