We all have a communication style with which we express ourselves more easily. But communication involves an interlocutor… who also has his own favorite communication style!
When you identify the other person’s style, and take the time to adapt to it, you increase your influence. How? First, communication becomes more fluid, and misunderstandings become fewer. Second, it promotes harmony, which facilitates relationships. You demonstrate your adaptation and open-mindedness in a concrete way, and the other person sees it as a sign of confidence in you.
This article presents the characteristics of four communication styles: how to recognize them and how to adapt your communication style.
Prefer a video version? There she is:
Let’s take a group of 4 people with a different style who don’t fit in with the others. We have a directive person, an optimistic facilitator, an analytical person and a consensus-based person.
Imagine their discussions:
- Analytics always sees the problems
- … What the optimistic host doesn’t like
- The directive ends up getting fed up and decides
- in the discomfort of the consensual person who doesn’t like to make too many waves.
I’m obviously caricaturing, but if no one adapts, it could create sparks! Nothing to do with a beautiful, authentic connection.
This article presents 4 communication styles: how to recognize them and how to adapt.
I invite you to identify:
- Your style (you can have more than one)
- Your opposite style
- At least one person with whom communication is less fluid, and some ways to improve after reading it.
Here is an overview of the 4 styles as well as ways to adapt your communication while remaining authentic.
The Analytical Communication Style
These people seek to influence the thoughts and actions of others by taking the time and means to convince. They sometimes find it difficult to express requests, because they prefer to understand them first. They are good problem solvers. They communicate facts and are not very emotional, to the point of sometimes appearing cold and impersonal.
How to recognize them?
Cartesian, the person likes details or evidence. It criticises information that is not clear or documented enough.
How to adapt your communication?
- Valuing the search for details
- Talking about evidence and facts
- Be precise and accurate
- Preparing and helping others to prepare
- Avoid being too informal, stay professional
To connect with an analytical person, in order to exchange and not to have a debate, you will benefit from helping them prepare before the discussion. For example, you could send questions in advance by email, maybe even documents. Or, book a room, choose a quiet environment and expect to receive a lot of details. You will arrive in front of a person who is prepared and ready to debate, so be credible 😊
These people can be cautious and critical. We will have to take small steps and probably plan 2-3 meetings rather than one, in order to finalize the discussion on an important point.
The directive communication style
These people have a clear tendency to want to influence the thoughts and actions of others. They easily address their requests to others. They like to take responsibility and decide quickly. Their time is precious. They communicate directly and can be impatient in prolonged discussions. They are based on concrete facts and are not motivated by in-depth analysis and details. They prefer to stay at the essentials and move quickly.
Do we agree that here, you have to adapt differently than with the analytical style?
So, if you’re analytical and want to influence or have a smooth conversation with a directive, you’ll need to be prepared to go… to the essentials.
How to recognize them?
Straight to the point, these people may cut off to understand where you are going or jump to the conclusion, as they are looking for the finality. They have a confident tone that can intimidate others. One might think that they are therefore more closed to ideas, but this is not the case.
How to adapt your communication?
- Be pragmatic and efficient
- Focus on results
- Synthesize your thoughts
- Bringing accurate facts
- Staying direct
✔️ With an analytical style, you will give all the facts and then the conclusion. With a directive style, on the contrary, you will give the conclusion and logic of your reasoning first, and ASK if the person wants more details… and respect if she refuses!
To connect with a directive person, in order to exchange positively, be confident and prepared for questions. Give details only if requested. These people don’t need as much preparation as analytics people, and may even prefer impromptu discussions to pre-arranged ones. Just be careful, because they decide quickly and can change their minds. If you’re unsure of your points, specifically tell the person that you just want their opinion, and no action from them. If not, it will act!
The conciliatory communication style
Although rather introverted, these people communicate easily with others, especially because they are patient and sensitive to needs and apprehensions. Skilled at reconciling different points of view, they seek to avoid conflict. They are more people-oriented, considering several points of view before making their decisions. They like to work in a team.
How to recognize them?
These people must trust before opening up. They can close under pressure. They will always be positive in the search for solutions. They have a lot of hope and encourage everyone. They take the time to listen and get to know the points of view.
They don’t give much of an opinion, except in a relationship of trust. They prefer to have time to settle situations or influence, and do not work optimally in “emergency” mode.
How to adapt your communication?
- Be a good listener
- Consider each other’s point of view
- Be empathetic and caring
- Leave time to express oneself and reflect
To connect with someone with a conciliatory communication style, be conciliatory too! Remember to be considerate of people and empathize to have a smooth exchange. These people need time to decide. If you’re directive, they might say “yes” to you, but come back to them to see their game plan. Since they don’t like conflicts, they will take their time and won’t want to “shock” others. Give them leads or arguments to use with their peers, such as positive or advantageous points from a human point of view, for example.
You can help them prepare.
The facilitator communication style
These people communicate easily with others. They seek to influence others, sometimes using control. They seem passionate, enthusiastic and demonstrative. They are interested in change and innovation. They are more people-oriented. They pay little attention to practical details and are not inclined to want to solve problems at all costs such as directives or analytics. They may tend to make commitments beyond their abilities (they are so optimistic!)
How to recognize them?
They are open to ideas, communicate easily, accept uncertainty easily, talk a lot, use adjectives, have difficulty listening, may be impulsive and neglect information or pragmatism.
How to adapt your communication?
- Leaving space
- Accepting their playful side
- Support and give feedback
- Get back to the facts and slow down the pace if necessary, without demotivating
If you have to interact with one of these people, expect to have to reframe the conversation, and do it in a positive way. For example: “I feel that what you share is important, and I admit that I’m a little lost… Can you summarize the point for me?”
Rather than: “But what are you getting at?” (in an impatient tone) or cut off constantly to go faster.
You will also need more time and to leave room for pleasure.
Finally, if you talk to a group of different styles?
- Start by getting straight to the point, your directives will not lose interest or become impatient
- Be dynamic enough and smile to arouse the interest of the facilitators
- Take the time for analytics questions at the end, even if it means letting others go
- See the conciliators and analytics the day after the meeting to take the pulse and answer questions
Use the communication funnel presented in tip #3 of this article: click here.
This tool has been updated in the self-study “Developing Essential Communication Skills”.
In short
The ideal is for everyone to adapt!
Share your communication styles and give each other ways to operate.
Let’s say a person feels too pressured in a conversation, they might tell you, “I need a moment.”
Another who needs to get to the point might say, “I don’t like to cut you off, but I really have a hard time following when there are a lot of details and I don’t see the purpose.”
In other words: name your needs in a caring way. And if you are emotional, take inspiration from the advice in the article on communicating your emotions.
I invite you to be observant and listen. By getting to know people and paying attention to how they express themselves, you will be able to adapt your communication more easily.
Experiment, constantly improve, and remember to strive for progress, not perfection!
To successfully influence or connect with people to facilitate discussions, take a step back to prepare! You should know that adapting your communication is one of the dozens of strategies outlined in the “Influence with Authenticity” self-training. Discover the 7Cs on the training plan.